6 Misconceptions about Foster Care

SIX MISCONCEPTIONS ABOUT FOSTER CARE 

1) The kids are damaged goods : 
The reality is that children enter foster care as victims of neglect, abandonment, or abuse. It’s not their fault.  Some foster children do need a lot of attention/ therapy/ guidance/ parenting/ guidelines/ etc. I have learned that all kids have special needs and children thrive in a healthy environment.

2) We are getting rich / It's too expensive : 
Money always seem to come up when I talk about being a foster parent. People either think that foster parents are getting paid the big bucks or alternatively that kids are way too expensive and they could never afford to become a foster parent. Neither is true. The state pays a foster family a nominal amount to help pay for clothing, toys, food, diapers. Our state will also pay for your child's daycare if you are a working parent. You can get reimbursed for mileage and receive food assistance. If a foster child becomes legally free and a foster family wants to adopt, the state covers the costs in what's called a public adoption. Private adoptions through an agency or overseas are costly.

3) You have to have it all together : 
While you do have to pass a background check and complete an application and interview process, you don't have to be a lot of things that you might think you need to be! Race, ethnic background, and income level are not an issue for foster care. You dont have to be rich, married, a homeowner or live in a huge house and you can be an inexperienced, first-time parent.  Not every child needs their own big fancy room; Certain ages/genders can share a room - whether it's with your biological children or other foster children.  (Check  your state requirements.)  So, dont get hung up on the details.  Being a foster parent means being flexible and rolling with the punches!

4) We are better than you : 
We are not saints. We are doing this because it needs doing and we love kids. Some of us hope to expand our families this way, some of us do it for the pleasure of hearing the pitter patter of little feet, some of us grew up around formal or informal fostering – but all of us are doing it BECAUSE WE LOVE IT!

5) We have no control over who lives in our home :
No one is going to drop children off at your house without your consent.  That would be insane!  When you are licensed, you set the terms.  For instance, you can be licensed for one child, age birth to 4 or five teenage girls.  When you do receive a call about a child you get all the available information about him/her and then you get to say "yes" or "no".  If you ever wanted to expand our license (age range or quantity) or completely retire, you can.

6)  The child's outcome is in our control :
Not every foster child should or will be adopted by their foster family.  If a child returns home, we're not "giving them back".  Everything is decided upon by a judge who is influenced by a social worker, case manager and a guardian ad litem who advocates for the child.  When it comes to fostering-to-adopt, you must know that the state's primary goal is reconciliation with a biological parent or a family member and for the first year minimum the goal is always for kids to return home to their biological parents. If their parental rights are terminated or relinquished, biological parents cannot regain custody of their children.  It is important to note that the bio- or foster- parents are not making these choices.  There is a whole legal process involving many, many factors.


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